Multiple Rounds of IVF

When you have been through multiple rounds of IVF / ICSI, each round can present it’s own emotional challenges.

When you have been through multiple rounds of IVF / ICSI, each round can present it’s own emotional challenges.

Round One

The first round can be a combination of relief that finally you are receiving the help you have had to wait for, hope that with medical help you are closer to creating your family and FEAR of the unknown, the medical procedures, medication and how it may affect you.

Feelings of hope may be high resulting in huge disappointment and devastation if it doesn’t work.

FET can be a weird one where many don’t feel prepared enough, often because it can be done so close to the initial IVF where focused preparation has been prioritized. Maybe, in the recovery from a cycle that did not lead to a pregnancy, good habits may have been

dropped which can lead to feelings of not being ‘healthy enough’. It’s ok, have kindness and compassion for yourself and understand that as long as the foundations have been set, blips here and there are not as bad as the anxiety caused by feelings of not doing enough, eating well enough, or obsessing enough on getting everything perfect.

Due to the time frame of FET because only the womb is being prepared and the eggs are not being developed or and monitored, FET can feel a bit of a whirlwind.

 

It’s ok to not feel prepared enough, as long as you are feeling ok in yourself

If the rounds of IVF / FET have not led to pregnancy then feelings of embarrassment and shame may arise at allowing yourself to ‘believe and hope’ only for your dream to be shattered. Negative self-talk can creep in once again about your body and it’s ability to have a baby.

Round Two

The second round of IVF, you may go into it feeling disconnected, tell yourself it won’t work anyway in order to protect the heart from anymore pain, however, by being in this headspace of negative talk and disconnection can make this process even more difficult than it needs to be and can cause a lot of anxiety in the lead up and during treatment. If it works great but if it still doesn’t lead to a positive pregnancy then the pain still returns on top of weeks of anxiety and negative thinking. This can be a particularly devastating time. Maybe one of numbness and depression.

If there are frozen embryos hope may return quite quickly and once again and the urgency of wanting and needing to have another go to deflect from the pain may push you to go again instead of processing and healing.

Round Three

The third round may be much like the second OR I find many couples want to get back to feeling more prepared and more empowered in their mindset where instead of dreading and fearing reliving the process again, they are wanting to feel more positive, hopeful and emotionally resilient.

These subsequent rounds can be empowering if feelings of hope are supported and balanced with the logically understanding that the science of creating a baby, a human being is so complex and can take time and patience. The realisation that mindset is everything going into this process where it can feel like you have to keep getting in the ring with Tyson Fury.

I was saying to a client last week – ‘where else in life would you keep putting yourself in a situation where you felt so beaten up, where you deliberately put yourself forward for experiencing grief, trauma, anxiety and depression?’ As human’s we are hard wired to avoid these feelings at all costs…..

There is a strength involved in picking yourself up, dusting yourself down, placing belief in the end goal and in the process trying to not let it affect every area of your life.

I believe it is IMPOSSIBLE to navigate this alone, unsupported.

The fertility journey can be brutal and requires an unbelievable amount of strength and resilience, yet this is often unseen, un-noticed and mis-understood.

 

My role as a Holistic Fertility Specialist is to:

• To try and help you conceive naturally

• Help you navigate the medical system

• Advocate for you

• Help you prepare your body and mind for conception

• Support you through the different stages of fertility treatment

• Help you recover / heal from fertility treatment

• Get you into a good headspace to make decisions that are right for you

• Provide nurturing support and a space that helps you to feel good

• Like the boxing coach….. mop you down, give you some sustenance, and build you back up so you feel strong enough and ready to step back into life

Victoria Gazzard is a natural fertility and pregnancy specialist working in Wrington, North Somerset area. She supports couples going through fertility challenges and pregnancy complications.