Breastfeeding is a beautiful way for mums to bond with their babies and is extremely important for laying down the nutritional foundations for health. Yet it can be extremely challenging especially when you have had your heart set on it and experience problems or you identify as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) and struggle with sensory overwhelm. Here is my own breastfeeding story, highlighting the importance of support, understanding, and the power of choice.
My dream of breastfeeding my daughter turned into a nightmare when my baby lost weight and we were admitted into the postnatal ward for support, but being a highly sensitive person, the hospital environment made me feel trapped, stressed and anxious. I struggled with the bright, busy, noisy ward alongside other mums facing challenges and was left waiting alone for the whole day waiting for a breast pump I was told was essential for increasing my supply.
I had to stay in until my daughter had gained satisfactory weight and they were happy with feeding. Whilst I was there I had little sleep and the stress hormones were affecting my supply. The best place for us both, would have been in my home environment where I could have expressed, eaten healthy food, and got some sleep.
I was urged to express and to supplement with formula to help my baby thrive but I feared that by doing so it would impact my supply even further. I really didn’t want to give her formula and was determined to exclusively breastfeed.
We later learnt through a lactation consultant that she had tongue tie which affected her ability to feed which wasn’t picked up in hospital and impacted the first month of trying to establish feeding and put us behind.
A month’s passed, and my determination to avoid formula driven by fear and my need to do or try everything caused a lot of stress, anxiety and overwhelm. I tried various methods to boost my supply, from herbal remedies to holistic therapies including reflexology and cranial sacral therapy for my daughter, but the constant stress of feeding, pumping and not sleeping took a huge toll on my body and mental state finding myself on the verge of collapse.
I struggled to find help and understanding. Healthcare professionals just wanted me to give her formula and my fixation on exclusive breastfeeding and doing everything I could to increase supply became obsessive, stealing joy and time bonding with my daughter in relaxed way. By the time she turned six months I was broken and on the verge of insanity through exhaustion.
My irrational fixation was driven by fear of formula and wanting to do what I felt was natural. It stole the first six months of our precious time together.
A client of mine struggled with feeding and after giving it a good go; seeing a lactation consultant, expressing, feeding on demand, feeding to schedule, could see how much time it was taking from the enjoyment of mothering said ‘I just want to enjoy being with my baby’. – I wish I could have had the same clarity of thought.
In conclusion, let’s not make mums feel sad, guilty, ashamed or a failure for feeding challenges or for choosing formula if they want and need to. The most important thing is that mum and baby are happy in those first weeks and months.
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